Unitalia
by Eaglestarisawesome5
Summary: Me and my friends discover a site where you can buy Hetalia characters! And with pretty much everyone for sale, this was going to be a fun week. Rated T for some language and sexual situations.


_**I NEED YOU PEOPLE TO HELP ME CONCENTRATE ON UPDATING OTHER STUFF ABHRBVEBNGRJLHGBJIRE-Anyways, here is another outcome of my boredom. CANADA! Disclaimer, please!**_

_**Canada: H-Hetalia does not belong to Eaglestarisawesome5, eh.**_

_**Good. Now how about some pancakes?**_

_**Canada: :D**_

**Unitalia Chapter One**

I sank down in my chair, bored as hell. I had been left alone for the week by my mom and stepdad, who were on a business trip. They were trusting me with the house and I had already done all of my chores, so I was now sitting in front of the computer roleplaying. I was about to type back when suddenly, an ad popped up on the screen. I would have ignored it, but the faces of Romano and Italy soon had my full attention.

"Hetalia Units...order today...first 5 free? Cool!" I read off the ad and clicked, quickly finding the order form. I filled out my information and moved on to the next box, which had a list of questions.

_Question 1: What age do you want your unit? Chibi, teen, or adult?_

I guess chibi. Chibis were so cute! I clicked the answer and moved on.

_Question 2: What gender do you want your unit? Boy or girl?_

I picked boy, because all my favorite characters were boys.

_Question 3: What unit(s) do you want?_

There weren't a lot of choices at first. A lot more were blocked off, saying 'please order one before these are available'. That made me sad, because Canada was one of them. But that meant all that stands between me and a Canada...thingie was another thingie! Yaay!. What were these anyways? Toys? Robots? Dolls? Anyways, I chose England and clicked 'Order'. A message popped up on the screen.

_Thank you for purchasing a Hetalia unit, your unit shall arrive in 1-3 business days!_

Awww, that long? I hoped and prayed that the shipping place was close to St. Augustine. My prayers were answered 4 hours later, when a truck pulled up to my house and the doorbell rang. I practically _flew _the door and yanked it open. A delivery man was standing there with a large box that had holes poked in the sides.

"Hello, miss Lacey?" When I nodded, he continued. "I'm Mark, and this is the Hetalia unit that you ordered." I almost began to hyperventilate with the excitement. I was about to have my own Hetalia thing! "Just fill out this form and take the manual." I quickly filled out the paper while Mark wheeled the crate in. I handed the clipboard back to him and he shook my hand. "Thank you for ordering a Hetalia unit. Hasta la pasta!" He began to walk to the truck.

"Hasta la pasta to you to!" I called. He waved and drove off. Soon, I was in the living room with the crate, flipping through the manual, which was labeled 'Hetalia Unit Manual: England'.

**For activating ChibiEngland unit, do one of the following:**

**1) First, have something to defend yourself with. Then, insult his cooking.**

**2) As before, have something to defend yourself with. Then, imitate France's laugh.**

**3) Make tea and wait until he smells it, then give him some if you value your pride.**

**4) Mention America.**

I decided to try #4, since USUK popped into my mind when I read it. I cleared my throat and pretended I was talking to someone. "Oh, and have you seen America's eco-" Suddenly, one side of the crate flew open and a tiny blonde with large green eyes and bushy eyebrows clambered out. I was in hysterics.

"America's what? Wait, where the bloody hell am I?!" he huffed. OHMYGODHISVOICEWASSOCUTEIJUSTCAN'TRIGHTNOW. I scooped him up and cuddled him close, in mid-fangirl. He tried to push me away, cursing and yelling, but I didn't budge. Finally, he gave up and flopped in my arms. I just cuddled him for another minute when I thought of something. Mom said I could invite friends over! Yes! I set England down, ordered him to stay out of the kitchen or face my wrath, and snatched the phone. Soon, Tori, Ashley, Sam, Stephen, and Sarah were all headed over to my house, ears still ringing from the shouts of "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS HAVE TO COME OVER RIGHT NOW CHIBI ENGLAND IS IN MY HOUSE I ORDERED HIM ONLINE AND THERE'S MORE AND OHMYGOD HE'S SITTING ON THE COUCH THAT'S SO CUTE!" "I'm not bloody cute!" "HE'S TAAALLLLLLLLKIIIIIIING!"

Stephen was the first to arrive, since he lived only a few houses away. I let him in, he walked into the kitchen, and spit out the soda he was drinking when he saw England on the couch, flipping through a cooking magazine and sipping some tea. Where he got the tea, I have no clue.

"Oh my god, you weren't kidding?!" he exclaimed. England looked up, glared at him, and continued reading.

"Wha-no! When have I ever not been serious?" I asked him.

"Well, there are many occa-"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I answered it and stepped back to let Ashley and Sam in. I guess they both arrived at the same time. When Sam saw England, she immediately tackled him, screaming "IGGYYYYYYY!"

"AUGH! Get your bloody paws off of me!" England protested, trying to push Sam away.

"AAAAA! It's England!" Ashley squealed.

"Yes, it's me, please stop hugging me!"

_DING DONG_

I raced to the door and opened it, letting Tori step inside. "Tori!" I squeaked, glomping her. She squeaked right back at me and hugged me tight.

"So where's Iggy?" she asked.

"MY NAME IS NOT IGGY! IT'S EITHER ARTHUR, ENGLAND, OR BRITAIN!"

Tori sped into the living room, waved hi to the others, and let out a high-pitched noise when she saw England. "OHMIGOSH It's him!" she giggled.

"Hey, now I can order another one! Don't suffocate Iggy, with your love, guys!" I called, moving into the office.

"My name is not I-oh blast it. I give up."

I plopped down at the computer and reloaded the screen. Soon after, I heard them let Sarah in and yet another squeal of delight, followed by more British cursing. The questions on the ordering page were now unanswered.

_Question 1: What age do you want your unit? Chibi, teen, or adult?_

I picked adult this time.

_Question 2: What gender do you want your unit? Boy or girl?_

Boy, obviously.

_Question 3: What unit(s) do you want?_

This time, all the other options were available. I clicked the Canada choice and the order button. 4 hours of aggravating England later, and doorbell rang and Ashley answered it. I filled out the paper, had a five minute spaz attack, and was soon sitting in the living room with a tall crate in front of me. We all stared at it, as if waiting for something to happen. I could barely keep my excitement contained as I shakily reached for the manual. This one was titled 'Hetalia Unit Manual: Canada(who?).

**For activating Canada unit, do one of the following:**

**1) Say his name and he will come out, wondering if you recognized him. Say yes and he will be your friend forever.**

**2) Set a bottle of maple syrup on top of the box.**

**3) Do your best imitation of KUMOJIRO unit.**

**4) Play a hockey game on your TV or radio.**

"I think we should do option #1." Ashley suggested. We all nodded. Everyone sat up, took a deep breath, and shouted.

"CANADAAAAAA!"

Soon, the side door slowly creaked open and Canada's head popped out. "Y-you recognized me?" He whispered. I bounced up and down on the couch and waved, trying to get his attention. His eyes flickered to me and he turned to look with a sheepish smile.

That was the last straw.

I was out cold in less than a second.

_**Aaaaaaand, that's all for tonight, folks! Tune in for more fun and drama in...*drum roll*...UNITALIA! *cheering***_


End file.
